


Sacrifices

by mentazero



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Friendship/Love, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 03:39:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2373155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mentazero/pseuds/mentazero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[«Did you want to talk with me about him?» Sugawara said quietly, giving him his trademark gentle smile, hiding in a masterly way the unpleasant grip that has clenched the pit of his stomach.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time in which I try to write something in English, according to my low level English skills I can say that posting this one-shot is one of the most shameless things that I've have ever done since I'm in the Haikyuu!! fandom. Enjoy, or, at least, try to do it.

Life is made of choices and sacrifices. After all, you can't enjoy the hundred percent of something that was given to you on loan, isn't it?

Life's like that videogame that a friend has lent you: he gives it to you for a limited period of time and you know that you have to use it and treat it well, because it's not yours and everyone knows that you have to take care of the things that you are receiving on loan more than your own things and then, one day, they will be taken away.  
Sugawara found himself thinking about his sacrifices a lot of times, trying to find out what was the best way to draw something good from them anyway.  
He happened to have to forego some outings with friends, in the past, in order to devote more time to studies and volleyball, and when he began to think about certain things, he always ended up feeling a certain discomfort thinking that, rather than being bent on the books, or sweating in a gym, he could enjoy the afternoons in the Game room, or he could go to Luna Park with those cute classmates and try to find a girlfriend.  
  
He sighed.  
  
When Kageyama joined the team, he found himself having to give up his place on the court and, despite that, he seemed to passively agree to step aside in favor of younger talent (after all even Kageyama himself talked to encourage him, and Sugawara had to admit that he sometimes showed everyone a too condescending attitude), but he was still able to exploit all avenues at his disposal to be able to nonetheless get the most from that experience. Watching the team from the edge of the court, he was able to see many more details than his companions that were playing.  
  
Now, the vice-captain of Karasuno, prepared himself to give up to the nth thing but he just could not see the positive side of it and put aside his selfish desires.  
Selfish? Could he really be described as selfish in that situation?  
He didn't think that he would ever be considered “selfish” by his friends, because he worked hard to prevent that from happening.  
There were situations in which he thought that his behaviors would not be dictated by the fact that he really wanted to help his team, or that he really wanted to fight to achieve his goals, but rather was just scared to death by the idea of being considered a selfish guy.  
What would have his teammates thought if he didn't get benched from the beginning to let the powerfull Kageyama-Hinata couple shine on the court? Tanaka and Sawamura would consider him an egoist who does not want to leave his place for the sake of the team, that's what they thought.  
Or not? No, of course not. Sawamura, in particular, would never do such a thing, there was a special relationship between the two of them based on solid esteem and confidence; perhaps Daichi would not change his opinion about Suga even if he had killed his cat!  
Suagwara laughed at his own thoughts.  
  
«What are you laughing at?» Nishinoya looked at him raising an eyebrow. Sugawara shook his head, muttering something about the fact that he never, ever would have killed Sawamura's cat!  
The Libero shook his head too with a mildly incredulous expression printed on his face; sometimes Sugawara puzzled him, Nishinoya thought that behind that peaceful and loving aspect, the Karasuno number 2 could hide his real kitten exterminator personality, but he would rather not receive a confimation about it.  
  
The gym was emptied in a hurry, leaving the boys free to rest during the weekend and Sugawara really wanted to go home before the others instead of having to deal with the conversation he knew would take place shortly thereafter, but it was not like him to flee from problems, partly because that conversation would have been "a problem" only for him.  
And in fact he had already been forced to swallow the bitter pill two days before, without even having the time to prepare a glass of water for make the task easier.  
«Thank you for your great job today! - Sawamura approached his friend, unable to hold back a yawn - The coach seems very satisfied. Have you noticed? Yamaguchi has made great progress, at the beginning I didn't believe he would be able to keep pace with the other first years, but I was wrong...»  
«Did you want to talk with me about him?» Sugawara said quietly, giving him his trademark gentle smile, hiding in a masterly way the unpleasant grip that has clenched the pit of his stomach.  
«Huh? No ... Well, I need some advices, and you are my best friend, right? I don't know who to talk to, otherwise».  
His best friend, yes. The feeling was mutual, in a certain way.  
If someone had asked Sugawara how they built that tight friendship, he couldn't find the right words to explain it. It was like a “love at first sight”, they found themselves on the same wavelength in a natural way, as if they were born to be together. Asahi was also a good friend, same as Tanaka and Nishinoya of course, but with Daichi there was something more and sometimes they didn't even have to speak to agree on what to do.  
«Of course». Sugawara said, trying to sound as calm as possible.  
Sawamura began to speak while fumbling with the keys of the gym door, and despite him trying to sound calm, it was obvious that he was getting embarrassed and that he didn't want to meet his friend's eyes.  
  
«You know that I'm not good at dealing with certain things...I mean. I can do anything during the match, I can deal with the captains of the other sports teams of this school (and Sugawara easily catched the reference to the fights between Sawamura and the captain of the Karasuno baseball team) but there's one thing I'm not really able to handle ... You see, a girl - he paused. coughed, sighed and then got back to the conversation- not a normal girl, but ... Michimiya Michimiya Yui, I was ... Well, she asked me to go out on a date and I was wondering if you, who are so good at giving advices, you could give me some tips to ... In short, handle the matter».  
Sugawara pretended to be surprised, from his lips escaped a "Oooh" vaguely reminiscent of one of those sounds that come from the Hinata's lips when he saw something exciting.  
The setter knew that Yui had asked Sawamura out since a couple of days before, she had stopped him during the lunch break asking more or less the same question that the captain of the Karasuno had just done.  
«Let me think ... If I were you, I would go with her to watch a volleyball game. During the weekend there are often lots of professional matches, it would be fun.- _I still remember that time in which we bought the tickets and then we couldn't go because we were overwhelmed by our studies_ \- You can go to the Luna Park, we repeat every single year that we should go there and then we always have to give it up! - _last year it rained so much during the day in which we had to go that we thought we had to go there on a boat_ \- And, you know, you can go with her to that restaurant downtown where they make a really good shoyu ramen- _I know that you love that place, but I always thought that I'd be considered an idiot if I had asked you to go out for dinner together_ \- but ... In the end, it doesn't matter what you do, the thing that matters is with who you do it».  
  
And Sawamura Daichi was the best company he could have. Because he was friendly, because he was fun, because he had that honest and protective aura around him, because every single time Sugawara was feeling down in the dumps, Daichi was able to find the right words to patch up his mood, because when he felt like the weight of the whole world would dramatically crush him down, the Daichi shoulders were ready to help him to support that weight.  
Is it possible that his lifeline was the same thing that in that moment was making him sink?  
Sugawara lowered his head, he had tears in his eyes, but he didn't want him to notice it.  
Michimiya was a good girl, and she was also very pretty. It was obvious that she and Daichi liked each other, but they were both too shy to reveal their mutual feelings.  
   
Sugawara should have been happy for both of his friends.  
   
But he wasn't. Because he was selfish, because he wanted Sawamura for himself. He wanted to be the one who could go with him to watch a volleyball match, then go to Luna Park and then go for dinner at his favorite restaurant and, most of all, he wanted to be the reason why Daichi blushed and ask for advice on how to "handle it”.  
He was just an egoist who did not want to leave that perfect boy to anyone, that didn't want to let his love at first sight go because, he was sure about it, that he would never find anyone else with whom to have a similar affinity: who else in the world could know him well enough to complete his sentences with the same words that he would use? Who else would have laughed at his jokes about volleyball and could understand his feeling of pride for having led Karasuno to victory during tournaments?  
And if he had lost him even as a friend, what the hell would he do? Daichi had never had a girlfriend before and he would not find time for him. Yes, they could continue to see each other thanks to the team, but would that be enough for him? Probably not, and then the school would be over and then everyone would take separate ways.  
  
«Suga, are you okay?»  
«Can I hug you?»  
  
Sawamura's eyes widened. What kind of question was that?  
Sugawara didn't look at him and didn't wait for an answer, he leaned his head on the Captain chest and hugged him. Even though he had tried to hold back the tears, he began to cry silently and the sobs made him tremble.  
He was a jerk, and he was ready to give up again.  
Sawamura blushed, staring blankly at the head of his friend wondering what had caused that reaction. The only thing that came to his mind was that Sugawara liked Yui, but she had asked him to go on a date and he didn't want to give up on that chance that he was waiting for months.  
He loved him, Sugawara was his closest friend, but that girl was more unique than rare and he didn't want to pass up: who else in the world could understand his passion for volleyball? Who else in the world could laugh at the same jokes about sports and could share the pride of being the team captain of the volleyball club of their school?  
  
He hugged Sugawara too.  
«Please don't put me aside, at least as a friend». Sugawara was already putting himself aside, he just didn't want to be pushed even farther.  
Daichi still did not understand, but he was naturally tighten the hug a bit more.  
«You're my best friend, Suga».  
Perhaps Sugawara found something positive even in that sacrifice, he would continue to treat well the precious gift he had received as a loan. Maybe one day he would be able to perfectly fit for the role of "best friend" and from that role, although it was similar to be on the bench, he would continue to observe all the details that the others weren't able to see, taking the best of them for himself and continuing to do the best things for the guy who loved.  
   
  


_If I can't love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend._  
 _And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end._  
 _(La Dispute, Andria)_

  


End file.
